Grey Bear Culture Magazine

Eventually, when they ask him about his scars, he will tell them about his journey with the boy with a stubborn heart and a desperation in his veins. He will explain how he took so much of him, how he carved his name into the skin under his suit, moulded an empty space in his chest and chose never to occupy it. He will tell them about the boy who started this all.

But, for now,  Elias will leave, with this forever empty space in his heart and mouth sealed by the boy he bared his face for, only as if to desperately preserve him. For if he speaks, he fears Conan’s void will become this real, physical thing that will be tainted and stained by the judgement of those who never knew him, and who will never understand him.

He finds it hard to understand in his mind what it means to love him after death, furthering this journey without him. But in order to continue he can only be thankful.

It is an honour that they existed in the same space, to have those years together. It is an honour that time didn’t choose to separate them by aeons.

He cannot pretend he is without fear, but he is thankful. He has loved and been loved, has given much and been given something in return. He has survived and travelled and thought and been written into the veins of history. 

The future awaits.

Eventually, when they ask him about his scars, he will tell them about his journey with the boy with a stubborn heart and a desperation in his veins. He will explain how he took so much of him, how he carved his name into the skin under his suit, moulded an empty space in his chest and chose never to occupy it. He will tell them about the boy who started this all.

But, for now,  Elias will leave, with this forever empty space in his heart and mouth sealed of the boy he bared his face for, only as if to desperately preserve him. For if he speaks, he fears Conan’s void will become this real, physical thing that will be tainted and stained by the judgment of those who never knew him, and who will never understand him.

He finds it hard to understand in his mind what it means to love him after death, furthering this journey without him. But in order to continue he can only be thankful.

It is an honour that they existed in the same space, to have those years together. It is an honour that time didn’t choose to separate them by eons.

He cannot pretend he is without fear, but he is thankful. He has loved and been loved, has given much and been given something in return. He has survived and traveled and thought and been written into the veins of history. 

The future awaits.

By Evan Essens